September 16, 2006


Well I have had a little bit of spare time at work today and have decided to do some reconciling of paperwork, paying the last of outstanding domestic bills which brings us up-2-date! Then I worked out what I was going to be paid up until I finished work at the end of the year! and gulped as I realised that it's going to be tough for a while again and that I should really start thinking about how I'm going to manage. At least I have been through this before. I remember how frustrated I was when I realised that I wasn't going to be paid maternity pay and how very unfair it felt at the time because I have always worked hard and felt I deserved some sort of assistance. Yet, times have changed me. I don't expect that now and whilst there was a little lump in my throat for a couple of seconds, I then felt 'we survived last time' and managed a trip overseas and although I have no illusions about that happening again, who knows? Life has so many suprising twists and turns and the most wonderful journey is to make sure that all the people you love are involved. The thought of bringing Booba #2 into this world to be part of our family, fills me unexpectidly with such joy that for once I can cancel out the ridiculousness of fretting about money. To think where I have been able to make so many changes in my life within the last 6 months, with a new job, a stable income (with no frills) and a better sense of self. I feel is more important that "worrying" about the future. So I embrace the new changes and enjoy the fact I can philosphically speaking see what's important, all the rest will work itself out. We are now up-2-date with all our bills and that has been a very big hurdle to overcome. After what was effectively 5 months of very little income coming in towards the end of 2005 and beginning of 2006! I'm stronger, wiser and better for it.

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