Bring on the Junta

Am I trying to be clever? My reply "No". This is the name of MD's band and as I am finely able to go and see them play tonight due to my mother-in-law being in town. I thought I'd dedicate this entry to the band. Why? Cause they need all the publicity they can get. Are you still amused just a little? mmm, It's again another one of those creative journeys we choose to take much to the disdain of the parents, especially MD's parents whose expectations were from his father that he become a 'Surgeon' and from his mother at the very least a 'Public Servant' neither of his parents have much imagination beyond, How much money you earn? Hence MD's sister who is in the Public Service and as I have been reminded constantly this week, "Earns a lot of money" has been placed on a pedestal. I feel nothing but amusement for this type of worship. I am pleased for (I call her JR). I am pleased for JR, she's ridden the highs and lows of the early twenties and probably reached depths that she's been able to climb from and yes she earns a respectable middle class income. I respect that but it's not really exciting is it? There's no risk involved except that she'll always feel compelled to keep employed to ensure her mortgage is covered. That to me folks doesn't appeal. I know that with MD and my existence we are still riding the highs and lows but as creative souls we have decided to put ourselves out there for judgment or appreciation greater then, "That was an excellent/crap report you wrote there JR". Please believe me I am sincerely happy for any member of my family to be comfortable and happy it's important. I understand watching a family's psyche swing as the Father/Mother stress about money as it has happened in both of our upbringings it's suprising we haven't taken the safe and secure route as half our siblings have. What I like about being with MD is that he's taken me on a journey that has meant treacherous rocky roads, crossing large gorges, swinging through trees on a rope, walking a tightrope, sliding down that slippery slide into cool calm waters then back paddling the rapids through unchartered waters. We haven't travelled much together-yet! and we still have plans where we paint a picture of our castle in the sky. Yet I do believe we have our feet firmly planted on the ground just we dare to dream impossible dreams. So tonight I go and see the band, there will be 40 people in the room if the band are lucky. People will come up after the show and say how much they liked the band and then maybe if some Booker needs to fill a space the band will get another gig in a couple of months time. Cynical, kinda..but realistic..but for the moment when MD and his mates are playing on stage it's the best 40 minutes of their lives and I love being part of it. Watching as they tell their stories, thrash out their songs and have that moment where 40 pairs of eyes are on them listening, swaying, moshing - whatever. We'll come home to our sparse home, toys scattered everywhere, bare walls cause our landlord lacks imagination to allow me to paint them and a telephone that's just been disconnected. But strangely I feel at peace at the moment I seriously don't care, I feel a quiet confidence, everything is alright in the world. I finally understand MD when we argued about being surrounded by beautiful things recently and having a house that's in order etc and he said what makes him happy is his family. On that note I understand beautiful objects and things do make you happy but it's the souls of the world that make it an exciting place - to nuture a child, a friendship or family member. Bring on the Junta I say!